Nature vs Nuture #
- Do you believe that you can mold your kid into someone that you want him/her to be?
- Do you believe that you can make your kids smarter with your parenting?
- Why is it okay for us to accept that certain race is superior physically than other race, but it is such a taboo to say that about intelligence? Do you see the irony in that?
- So if someone does not accomplish something that requires a certain level of brain power, the blame goes to that person?
- Does will power exist? Or is it a myth? I have unlimited will power when it comes to vegetables.
- If your kids do not do well academically, do you believe that you failed as a parent?
- Do you believe that everyone is born with immutable personal traits?
- Your academic achievement is the best predictor of your kid's future academic achievement. Do you agree with the statement?
- I still haven't seen a single kid that we've known for awhile suddenly getting smarter; a dumb kid at age 3 is still a dumb kid at age 13.
- Whenever I meet a kid who goes to "great" school", I ask him/her if he/she has been always smart. Their answer is always, "yeah, you can say that"
"Blueprint" by Robert Plomin is an interesting book for some, but not for me. It's silly to think that DNA has nothing to do with your intelligence or your personality. Maybe this is a hard pill to swallow for Growth Mindset folks; a lot of things are predetermined at your birth and there is little you can do about it.
For me, that is liberating. You can stop blaming yourself for a lot of things now. The best thing you've done for you kid is in your DNS, not your parenting skills. So we can relax and focus on feeding them, clothing them and putting roof over their heads. And try to provide them a stable home.
"Growth mindset" creates a hostile society. If you fail at something, it's on you. What if we have a society where it's okay to be stupid and stupid people can still make a decent wage and have a decent life? Rather than artifically trying to put dumb folks into colleges we should create a society where it's okay for not so smart folks not to go to college.
We always try to fix wrong things. We can keep changing academic curriculum (e.g. common core), but that will not help; that's not where problem is. When we accept that "nature" has a lot to do with how we are, we can have more empatic society.